Proposition 8

Okay, before any of you see this and sigh because you are tired of hearing about this subject, I want you to know that I'm writing in response to some comments that I've read from several people whom I highly esteem, but respectfully disagree with very strongly (too many adjectives, I know). I love, love, love them, but feel the need to give my point of view so they can maybe gain an understanding of what I'll refer to as "the other side of the issue". Please...don't take offense because none is intended...and please remember that I am not a debater or good at public speaking...I'm just expressing myself and it may be a little unorganized....and LONG.

First of all, society doesn't "get" to define what marriage is...it's not their right. GOD already defined marriage (from the very beginning of time on this earth), and stated that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children ." ( Proclamation of the Family). Now, we all have the right to think and choose according to what we believe to be true, but when those decisions will have a direct impact on our society as a whole, I believe that our church (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) has a right to get involved.
Here are some examples of why I think they have that right:

The family is the FUNDAMENTAL UNIT OF SOCIETY. What does this mean? That it's the basic structure of our society and was from the beginning. God wanted us to be born into families so we could nurture each other, teach moral principles, and "promote social responsibility" to our children.

"Sacred Scripture repeatedly underlines the importance and centrality of the family. The book of Genesis narrates the creation of the first man and woman, and the family is portrayed as having a central role in creation. Other Old Testament books speak of the love to be found in the family, which is also where children are taught wisdom and the virtues."
(Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church [Catholic])

From the beginning, there were families, placing them at the center of social life. We are made in God's image, and as men and women (PATTERNED AFTER GOD), we have divine roles to play in our mortal lives. We are different for a reason. We compliment each other and we have different things to offer. As my friend said, "God created Adam and EVE, not Adam and BOB." What we call gender was an essential characteristic of our existence prior to our birth. Again, God sent us here to fulfill a divine purpose and to come to families to learn how to be responsible and moral parts of society. So, having said that, I believe that because God defined marriage, we cannot try to change the defintion ourselves; and if we do, there will be dire consequences.
Let's start with the powers of procreation....they are the right of every married couple. Only a man and a woman together have the natural capacity to conceive children. This power is sacred and precious; "misuse of it undermines the institution of the family and thereby weakens the social fabric. Strong families serve as the fundamental institution for transmitting to future generations the moral strengths, traditions, and values that sustain civilization." (lds.org) What was that? Misuse of it UNDERMINES THE INSTITUTION OF THE FAMILY! So yes, my dear friends, sex (oops!) is fun...but that is exactly where society gets confused, thinking it should be a right to have whenever and with whomever they choose! It's a natural man kind of urge, unless it is kept within the bonds of marriage, and then it becomes something sacred (which it should always be, but society has changed that as well) ...two people in partnership with God to CREATE.

"Marriage is not primarily a contract between individuals to ratify their affections and provide for mutual obligations. Rather, marriage and family are vital instruments for rearing children" (lds.org)

So, we shouldn't play around with the powers of procreation. And two women or two men cannot create what a man and a woman together can. You may argue that what they are doing doesn't or won't hurt you, so who cares if they call it marriage or not...well, if the family is divinely designed, and if procreation is sacred and divinely instituted, and if we are made in the image of God, with an express purpose to fulfill...then how can it NOT hurt society?

"Every child on this Earth has the right to know and be cared for by the two parents who brought them into this world." Granted, this doesn't always happen in our society with divorce and whatever else, but you can find a lot of articles showing that children who are raised in a home with a MOTHER AND FATHER who love each other and the child, almost always has healthier development in all areas of life; and that divorce (and, I would argue, gay marriage), can be very damaging to a child's self esteem and well-being. Family structure matters for children, AND “gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”(Proclamation) Do you believe this, or not? If the parents don't model correctly the way we are intended to be it causes confusion and children will not understand who they are…what their roles are. "Gender differences increasingly are dismissed as trivial, irrelevant, or transient, thus undermining God’s purpose in creating both men and women." (lds.org) If gay marriage is allowed, children WILL be brought into it, and I DO believe that children have a right to be born into homes where marriage is clearly defined...otherwise they WILL be confused about who they are and unhappiness will prevail, as will depression. Can you see how this would be the beginning of the breakdown of our society? Children coming to Earth, living in same-sex homes, where (even if they love each other and their children....because I'm not saying they wouldn't) the children would be taught that it's ok to live a life contrary to that which he/she is here for (contrary to their nature), leading to confusion and unhappiness, loss of morals, and loss of identity. The breakdown of the family unit is the breakdown of society...they are inseparable.
Now, if gay couples want to live together, that's their right...their right to choose, but when you bring marriage and children into the equation, it takes away the rights of the child...to know who they are and that they have a divine role to fulfill. This quote by Dallin H. Oaks clearly indicates this concept:

"While it may be true that allowing single-sex unions will not immediately and directly affect all existing marriages, the real question is how it will affect society as a whole over time, including the rising generation and future generations. The experience of the few European countries that already have legalized same-sex marriage suggests that any dilution of the traditional definition of marriage will further erode the already weakened stability of marriages and family generally. Adopting same-sex marriage compromises the traditional concept of marriage, with harmful consequences for society."

We do it for the protection of future generations...that's why we are sticking up for this, fighting for it. To protect our future generations. "Strong, stable families, headed by a father and mother, are the anchor of civilized society."(lds.org)

The other thing I wanted to address was having homosexual marriage taught in the classroom. I personally don't want my children to be taught about sex and marriage from some school nurse who tells them that marriage can be between any two people who love each other. Parents should have the right to teach their children how they see fit, and as far as something this serious goes, I want full control. AND, if homo- and hetero-sexual relations are considered equal, then my children would have to learn equally about them in school (because everything has to be equal nowadays) and I don't want my children learning about homosexual sex. I'm not judgmental (and yes, I realize you may disagree with me on that point, but just wait) I just don't want my kids to learn about that kind of stuff from someone who doesn't share my values. That's MY right.

Next, to quote my good friend, if I may, "Ye shall know them by their fruits ... the fruits of Prop 8 have been hateful judgement from BOTH sides." Yes, they have...and I don't agree with the hatred that comes from judging, no matter which side of the line you stand on. I too, want to teach my children that love IS good, no matter who gives or receives it....but I don't want them to think that just because love is good, it can or should be shared in an intimate way with anybody. I will teach my children the divine purpose and roles of us as God's children, but I will also try to teach them to love others and not judge unrighteously; and I will love my children even when I don't like their choices. I feel sorry for those who feel that gay people are evil, terrible people. I do not think this at all. I truly believe in the "love the sinner, hate the sin" concept. I try to see the value in all people and what they have to offer...because we all have talents and things to share with each other. I can love a person and not approve of what they do. Heavenly Father does it all the time. Having said this, being tolerant and accepting everything about a person are totally different things. But today’s political definition insists that unless one accepts the sin he doesn't tolerate the sinner. Here is a quote by Elder Oaks again that adds to this:

"Those who favor homosexual marriage contend that “tolerance” demands that they be given the same right to marry as heterosexual couples. But this appeal for “tolerance” advocates a very different meaning and outcome than that word has meant throughout most of American history and a different meaning than is found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Savior taught a much higher concept, that of love. “Love thy neighbor,” He admonished. Jesus loved the sinner even while decrying the sin, as evidenced in the case of the woman taken in adultery: treating her kindly, but exhorting her to “sin no more.” Tolerance as a gospel principle means love and forgiveness of one another, not “tolerating” transgression."

This is part of an article I read online that I felt expressed it better than I could ever say it, so here's the quote:

"The liberal philosopher Isaiah Berlin famously argued that, in many cases, the real conflict we face is not good versus bad but good versus good. Reducing homophobia is good. Protecting the birthright of the child is good. How should we reason together as a society when these two good things conflict? Here is my reasoning. I reject homophobia and believe in the equal dignity of gay and lesbian love. Because I also believe with all my heart in the right of the child to the mother and father who made her, I believe that we as a society should seek to maintain and to strengthen the only human institution -- marriage -- that is specifically intended to safeguard that right and make it real for our children. Legalized same-sex marriage almost certainly benefits those same-sex couples who choose to marry, as well as the children being raised in those homes. But changing the meaning of marriage to accommodate homosexual orientation further and perhaps definitively undermines for all of us the very thing -- the gift, the birthright -- that is marriage's most distinctive contribution to human society. That's a change that, in the final analysis, I cannot support. " (David Blankenhorn)

I agree with most of what he is saying. I am not homophobic...I'm not completely comfortable with it, but I'm not homophobic. And I do believe that because we have our free agency, people should be able to choose how to live their lives. But not when it will lead to the breakdown of our society. Plus, if the governmant is allowed to redefine marriage, what other rights will that give it? This next quote is so interesting to me....

"The walls of a home provide a defense against detrimental social influences and the sometimes overreaching powers of government. In the absence of abuse or neglect, government does not have the right to intervene in the rearing and moral education of children in the home. Strong families are thus vital for political freedom. But when governments presume to redefine the nature of marriage, issuing regulations to ensure public acceptance of non-traditional unions, they have moved a step closer to intervening in the sacred sphere of domestic life. The consequences of crossing this line are many and unpredictable, but likely would include an increase in the power and reach of the state toward whatever ends it seeks to pursue." (lds.org)

Wow...that is a powerful statement. But it's a whole other direction that I don't really want to go in, I just thought it was another way to show why we need to fight for the definition of marriage to remain as it is.

Lastly (yes, it's going to end), I have to say that I do not feel that gay people are born that way....why? Because of all that we know about who we are and why God created us, I cannot understand why we would be sent here to become something we never were to begin with. God created us with purpose...we KNOW this. We KNOW we are divine, and created in His image. We all have different challenges and trials....who knows why some struggle with these feelings. I don't understand it, but I do understand and believe that they can overcome it, just as one can overcome depression or illness, with help. Dallin H. Oaks said:

“Most of us are born with [or develop] thorns in the flesh, some more visible, some more serious than others. We all seem to have susceptibilities to one disorder or another, but whatever our susceptibilities, we have the will and the power to control our thoughts and our actions. This must be so. God has said that he holds us accountable for what we do and what we think, so our thoughts and actions must be controllable by our agency. Once we have reached the age or condition of accountability, the claim ‘I was born that way’ does not excuse actions or thoughts that fail to conform to the commandments of God. We need to learn how to live so that a weakness that is mortal will not prevent us from achieving the goal that is eternal." (Keep in mind that he is referring to the gay/lesbian concept, not other things beyond our control.)

Mortal weakness...we all have it...just differently from one another. Yes, I know the word conform is in this quote....no one seems to like conforming these days. But conforming to God's commandments is essential to our salvation. And God doesn't tell us we HAVE TO, just that to be happy, we SHOULD. Just like when the seat belt light goes on in the airplane....you put on the belt because you trust that someone who knows more than you knows something about why you should wear your seat belt...that something could happen that would cause you harm. It's the same with the commandments. Heavenly Father doesn't take away your right to choose just because He gives you commandments. And you don't give up your right to choose by putting on the belt (obeying the commandments)...you choose to know that Heavenly Father gives us these rules (or guidelines) because He knows better than us how we can be happy and how we can avoid confusion and hopelessness in this crazy world. I need to say that I believe in the family unit....I believe that gay marriage would eventually cause the breakdown of society, confusion, and heartbreak. I understand why they want rights and why they want to be recognized as couples. Fighting against gay marriage, for ME, is not because of hatred or intolerance, but because I believe it is fundamentally wrong. And I cannot justify it when I know what the outcome would be. Read The Proclamation of the Family; WHY do you think the prophet and apostles (or God, for that matter) sent it out into the world? BECAUSE THEY KNEW THE FORCES OF SATAN WOULD BEGIN TO TRY TO BREAK DOWN THE FAMILY STRUCTURE. God knows all things...He is a loving God; I don't and never have seen Him as a God who's always yelling "Fire and Damnation!" He loves us, despite our sins and despite our faults. And yes, there will always be people full of hate and contempt...even some of us "Mormons", but that is not the way of the Lord, and it's not the way He wants us to treat each other. This is a bit cheesy, but I think of the spirits that are still waiting to come to Earth. I would want people, the Church, whoever, to fight for my right to be born into a world that clearly defines our divine roles as men and women, because it DOES matter. I truly believe that the Church has a right to fight for the definition of marriage to remain as it is and always has been. If we believe this is a church of modern revelation, we should then believe that the prophets and apostles know why it is they are fighting this battle. I intend on fighting it too...I feel that there will be more and more issues where the lines are easily blurred. Society doesn't see in black and white; the choices aren't always easy to make. Sometimes it's about making the better choice, even when neither choice is all that great (i.e.-Obama vs. McCain). I know that God will speak to us through his prophets, and through the scriptures; and help us to know which side He wants us to stand on.

To my wonderful friends, I truly respect your opinions and feelings; and I hope I haven't caused any offense. And to those of you who stuck it out and read to the very end....thanks. :) I promise I won't turn this into a habit.

Where I got my info from: The Divine Institution of Marriage, lds.org Same Gender Attraction, by Dallin H. Oaks
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-blankenhorn19-2008sep19,0,2093869.story